Snooki… Why? WTF!!! Why??
I never knew who, or, I have to admit, what, “Snooki” was until I popped open Yahoo and saw that her name was trending as number one on the list of things people were searching for. So, being curious, I clicked on her name and to my horror opened that rancid Pandora’s Box that has been dubbed: Snooki.
My reaction to her was so visceral, so deep, that it motivated me to not just publish this piece, it also ushers in a new category: “Things That Make Me Hope The World Will End.” I literally feel like a bee just stung my balls and I puked in my own mouth–pained and sick at the same time.
Why am I, an optimist, so disturbed by Snooki? Because of all the F’ing! things people can take in on the web (porn included) they’ve chosen to learn about Snooki and why her boyfriend now thinks she’s a “whore.” Buddha, why are these people given fame?
I think her fame is our folly. I think by elevating people like her to the “Trending Now” box on Yahoo means that we’re slowly moving towards a society that celebrates the obnoxious and mediocre while shunning everything that is the opposite of that.
So, in honor of this shift in our collective psyche, I raise an apocalyptic cocktail in her honor… Here’s to you Snooki, you magnificent beast!
Snooki... Oh Snooki Snooki, Whoa Snooki Snooki!